Urgh

Well, it's been a few years since my last journal entry. I won't bore you with all the crazy details of the shit that's gone down since then, let me tell you though, it was nuts. Anyways, here I am now, living in Vancouver. I am so happy to be back here. Seeing people who I grew up with and love and are really some of the best friends you could ask for. I am working now, two jobs both of which I enjoy alot, they're pretty fun. I'm meeting some new people, a few of them cool, alot of them retarded, but whatever, that happens. :P Anyways, I suppose what I came here to really write about is this. Due to events of the last few years, I no longer have a family. I have no one in my life who will care about me unconditionally and I feel like I have no permanent ties to anyone any longer. I have friends who I know care about me and are helping me alot right now but in the end when I come home I feel empty and deserted. I feel like, I don't know, I just don't feel good anymore. And I kind of hate it. Sometimes I will be at work or walking down the street and I will start crying and nothing will have even brought it on. It freaks me out. I am acting out and sleeping with people to try and numb it a bit I think. It's not really working though. I don't want to do it. I make a joke out of it and people laugh but I think I am just hurting myself more. I don't know what to do about this, I don't know what to say about this and I don't know where to go from here. I suppose I will just have to take things as they come for the moment.
PS - I hate my mother.